True Medicine
Opinions of a Person with Personal Experience
True medicine lies not within the chemical compounds readily available to us on shelves and in medical offices under harsh fluorescent lighting, normalized by society at large. True medicine, and all the tools to unlock it, lies within us.
The healthcare system as-is has us normalizing sickness and believing that the treatment of symptoms is the answer. But it doesn't even scratch the surface. This is why society is overrun with perpetuated illnesses, chronic issues and chaos. Its foundation is flimsy, built upon the same principles currently running our world, instead of true knowledge of, collaboration with, and reverence for the medicine that's all around us and within us.
That of plants, diet, lifestyle, working with what's present in the body and mind, what extra factors have accumulated causing dis-ease. We should only be moving toward modern medical innovations when it's absolutely necessary. And even then, we should be searching deeper, looking to nature, for when we eventually recover. Otherwise, we'll be back at square one. The question is, why do so many people choose to go round on a hamster wheel, allowing new issues to arise replacing the last with a slightly different flavor of pain, when we could actually evolve past the pain?
I blame the system, the culture of medicine in this modern world. These days, it is far too necessary to employ more invasive and unnatural methods of healing because systematically something is wrong. It should NOT be normalized. I believe society at large has lost the connection to our depth, our inner-knowing, our capacity to heal ourselves naturally. Embodied Living means to shift away from this chronic, perpetual pandemic (that we’ve somehow adapted to) by bringing us back to the roots of our potential in all facets of life. As creatures of this earth we exist to develop fully and reach that potential, physically, emotionally, spiritually.
Medicine should treat the whole person.
Medicine should look to all parts of a person as an interconnected web.
Medicine should heal us physically, energetically, emotionally, spiritually.
Medicine should teach us to harmonize with nature, with our nature.
I'm not saying I'm going to cure cancer. But I AM saying that the readily available cures on the market are also not doing a great job, causing extra damage even when they do work, never searching underneath the surface of the physical body to understand why someone's body would be susceptible to this disease in the first place. A large part of the problem is the system in place, clearly not having the human-looking-to-heal's best interest anywhere near the top of the list.
But it goes further. Many doctors are trained to not ask these deeper questions, to look the other way, to close the door on the possibility that the roots of our physical ailments are derived from a place far deeper than what modern medicine and science can actualize.
And because there is an inherent, compulsatory, rule-the-world-NEED to know and control… anything that remotely threatens this sense of gripping at life is disregarded as nonsense, not brought to the forefront of innovative and professional conversations, marginalized and sometimes criminalized as a not-so-secret way of maintaining the status quo.
From my vantage point, the status quo of modern medicine, and our relationship to the earth in general, is not going so well. It's obvious we're doing something wrong, and we're being given signs left and right that something has to change.
Many of our physical ailments in this age of medicine are derived from deeper neurological and psychological roots. That’s to say, the deeper we dive into the layers of self, the closer we get to locating and fixing the root of the issue. The advent of technology and science goes hand in hand with a push for clear, concise answers, leaving very little room for confusion or ambiguity. Even though there are some incredible leaders and thinkers talking about the merging of wisdom and neuroscience, it still gives me pause because bringing these ideas into a conceptual platform overrides the essence and experience of pure consciousness… which is ultimately the “goal”. That’s to say, why are we talking about it at all, when the whole point is to experience this innate feeling of… whatever you want to call it? Consciousness, presence, love, fulfillment, happiness, truly living.
The problem is, the actual nature of our humanity is fluid, layered beyond our capacity to conceptualize… a mystery. How could the true answers to our healing possibly be as simple as what presents on the surface layers?
True medicine will tackle this depth and mystery, trusting the variable and fluid nature of the answers we receive. We’re not supposed to know everything with certainty. If we did, the world would be very different, maybe healthier, maybe not.
I’m not denying the benefits of technology, science, modern medicine, as they’ve all aided our species with many advancements and protections. That said, we’ve not given enough weight to asking more questions about the current underlying forces actively pushing civilization to be DEPENDENT upon these advancements as opposed to working in union with them. There is a clear difference, and while most of us born into this contemporary age wouldn’t even think to ask why we’re being pushed away from our nature, much less have the conscious thought, I AM asking. I’ve been asking. I’ve been searching through the lens of my own healing. And now, I’m taking matters into my own hands to create the difference I know is possible and is NECESSARY.
These ideas expand so far beyond me as an individual with an opinion, and so I merely start from here to pose the questions, question the narratives, and keep moving in the direction of COLLECTIVE AWAKENING ON A MASS SCALE. Because as far as this individual is concerned, THAT is the only way forward.
How It All Started….
Where do I even begin. I suppose one of the notable turning points in my health started the same day my entire world changed. After college, I remained in the only serious relationship I had ever known. Anthony and I had been together three years, living together, growing together during some truly formative years. The final months of our relationship ended up being long distance. I had moved to NYC to try the Broadway thing while he stayed in Boston. The timing was all so ironic because I was toying with the idea of moving back while he was realizing it was time to break up. Long story short, he made the trip all the way there just to have the hardest conversation we’d ever had, and then my entire world changed.
While recovering and recalibrating from this break up, I somehow still had the strong intuition that I was meant to move back to Boston, that it was home regardless if Anthony was a factor (and I was right). Because of this upcoming move, paired with the very short time I DID spend in NYC, I never bothered to shift my insurance. I had some hookup or other in order to maintain my steady flow of chemicals, most notably my monthly pack of…dare I say it… hormonal birth control pills. Well, timing is everything. And just as we had broken up, I was also unable to keep that “prescription” at a reasonable cost, AND I was about to move back to Massachusetts anyway. It added up to an obvious decision to my then adolescent and highly triggered brain. Just quit the birth control pills cold turkey. What’s the worst that could happen?
How could I forget the other horrifying detail… A couple years prior to this, my gynecologist had assured me that taking these pills as an “extended cycle” was perfectly safe and natural, and nothing would go wrong. “Extended cycle” was a term used to describe consuming these pills continuously for three months straight in order to manipulate one’s natural hormonal cycle to bleed four times per year, as a way to reduce menstrual symptoms…. I’m not even going to start on how absolutely, unfathomably wrong and harmful that is, and how I am still so troubled that it was ever suggested to anyone… ever…
But I digress. It was April 2017. I finished my last hormonal birth control pill (ever), and seeing as how I had no partner and a whole new life ahead of me in a new/old city, I thought it a good idea to allow my body to just be… dare I say it… natural.
Now, I get personal. I feel fortunate that my female body has always had a very strong and regular pattern of menstruating, healing, growing and developing. That’s how I knew something had gone very, very wrong. Come May, there was no period. June, July, nothing. I didn’t get another menstruation until August, four months later. Phew, I thought, we’re in the clear. Boy, was I wrong. The next time I felt my body normalize what had once been a perfectly natural cycle was January 2018, another four months. At this point, I had started seeing a new doctor, and we were desperately trying to figure out what was wrong. My cycle should have recalibrated by then. I did test after test, kept narrowing down the problem, until it was suddenly summer 2018… and nothing. No period, no answers. At least we had eliminated the more serious possibilities. I recall this doctor and I had whittled it down to two options. It was either an Isolated follicle-stimulating hormone deficiency (IFSHD), or this other fancy term I cannot locate which meant that I was stressed, so the chemical in my brain that was supposed to send the signal to my uterus was not being produced.
Well, even if it wasn’t the stress disorder, it was rapidly BECOMING that. I was stressed and pissed. Stressed that I was never going to have my own children, pissed that modern medicine was so clearly failing me. That doctor was very sweet, but I also recall a huge stamp on her forehead of cluelessness and helplessness. So while I patiently waited for these test results, I decided it was time to give Kris Quinones a call. She was the first Ayurvedic practitioner I ever had the pleasure of working with personally.
I made an appointment that August 2018 (still no period, going on six months now), and was ready to hear someone’s take on what might be happening from a natural perspective. I will never forget how powerful that appointment was. That session felt so much more like medicine and healing than any time in a doctor’s office I had experienced before. And that’s not just because it lacked the lovely fluorescent lighting, instead going for candles and sweet incense. It was true medicine because I was seen, heard, understood, and cared for on a level so deep and so profound, I cry every time I think about it.
Now, this brings me to the climax of my story. And I have to preface this by saying, this is the absolute truth. This is exactly what happened to me, word for word, moment for moment. I will never ever forget it. I swear on my life.
I sat there with Kris receiving her wisdom and perspective, as she shared such insights about this Ayurveda and just as many about me personally. I was in awe of how much she understood about me within five minutes of meeting me. There was no question, this medicine had been around for thousands of years for a reason. Her advice… she looked me dead in the eye and said that if I listened and followed her instructions exactly, it would work and I would regain what I had lost. She was so assured in the knowledge. I was to go and buy a very specific type of mala bead, and with it practice a very specific mantra she had me write down and speak to make sure I was pronouncing it well. She said to go home and practice this mantra with these beads at least 108 times every day. And it would work.
I went home, I did exactly as instructed, and not four days later… I got my period. That was over three years ago. My body has been perfectly regular ever since that day. I maintained that practice for several years just for good measure. In fact, while I’ve now graduated to new mantras, I still use those beads in meditation every morning.
Where I Am Now
After my conversion to ancient science and wisdom, there was only one place to go. Deeper and deeper down the rabbithole I dove, and it has led me to such beautiful, powerful and healing places. I really should be keeping a list of all the magic that’s befallen me and my body ever since this shift. That would be quite a long list. The short list, post-uterine problems, is woven into an entirely new perspective of medicine. I now feel, through applying these teachings and receiving answers as I experience my own body, just how interconnected I am, and how one problem that arises is rarely isolated. That wisdom in itself has made my life so much EASIER. What was once a chronic problem is now fading into my past, an occasional flare up that I know how to address because I understand what’s underneath it.
This year’s biggest development has hands-down been experiencing my first successful Ayurvedic cleanse and how that has transformed my digestion, my sleep, my skin, my sense of clarity, my circadian rhythm, everything. I was made a believer years ago, but it seems that the deeper I move down this path, the more chances I give myself to be amazed.
Because when you’re born into a world that conditions you to believe you can’t thrive naturally, it’s always a cathartic moment when you discover just how powerful nature truly is.
Aho.
And so it is.