I’m gonna e-start this one off with the technical stuff first. Get it out of the way.

Recently, I’ve discovered this method to finding a home, manifesting anything really, that requires 3 simple steps.

SPECIFICITY

SITTING

THE LIST

1.     The foundational principle that will lead you in the right direction is SPECIFICITY.

The more specific you are, the more you’re going to find exactly what you want. When you say something and it’s very very specific, you channel that energy. You are creating a shape around it. You’re getting so specific with your imagery, what it looks like in your head and feels like in your body, thereby drawing what acts as an energetic fishing line toward you that much more easily. You’re creating an electromagnetic signature that pulls what you’re searching for right back to you.

If you are vague and just speaking a category or an idea, you might say something such as, “I want a home that’s been painted.” The universe’s response in that case might be something like, “Okayyy… yeah, cool. I’m gaining more of a direction, but it’s still a biiiit wishy washy. Help me out here?” And when I throw out a phrase like “talking to the Universe”, I really just mean talking to that deeper part of yourself, your consciousness, the underlying guide for the world we cannot see, yet feel so deeply. (At least some of us do.) I’m no expert on teaching these things, but I have many resources I’m happy to share.

Anywayyyy, back to Specificity. You’re really going to zoom in on your desire if you say, “I want a place that’s already painted with a cerulean blue accent wall.” Can’t get more specific than that. (Or can you?) You know exactly what that could look like. Your imagination gets to expand around that and maybe even soak in what that would feel like. Getting as specific as you can get will send the clearest signal in the most exact direction, like a ship in the night, driving you to your thang with even more gas.

My personal experience of this was insane. By the time I went to see the first home I was going to see in person, I was so aligned with it, so clear and connected to all the details, so clear in my research, that it is now that very same home from which I write these words and smirk about it. You’re seeing images if you’re reading this blog, but just a brief outline to give you an idea… it’s got a lake, shared dock, canoe, kayak, paddle boards, garden, grill, balcony, yard, fire pit, hammock, and then my cottage has an extra room for a studio, open living room with a lake view, full kitchen, bedroom with a lake view, full bath, driveway, and even a flower bed by my front door. Even cooler thing is, it also technically wasn’t the first home I went to see. The place I now call home was actually the cottage next door on the day I first came to the lake as a potential tenant. The owner showed me the other place, and then pointed this one out and said how he felt it “might be even more perfect for you”. He wasn’t lying. In fact, he didn’t even put it on the market in order to save it for me. This unit even aligned perfectly with my move out dates where the other cottage did not… Oh, aaand it saved me $300. I kid you not. It was like the universe had guided me to go see my now neighbor’s place BECAUSE my landlord and I needed to discover I was meant to live next door. The universe was holding it for me. I just had to get close enough to smell it and ignite everything that happened after.

I even went the extra step in testing my sense of trust. He straight up offered me my cottage the very next day. My reaction was a fear-based one as my mind urged me to take the offer immediately, no questions asked, so as not to lose it. Instead, I sat in my power and spoke the words that were so difficult to say, but so necessary in fulfilling this journey of manifesting exactly what I wanted, No Fear Allowed. I told him that I just had to see the inside of it for myself, step through the threshold and feel the energy of that space in order to be sure. That statement was indicative of a big moment of trust, trusting the path that had been laid out before me, not giving in to anything that wasn’t on the list, and fear and rushing were DEFINITELY not on this list. This was my wiser self stepping in to take the lead, drop me into my knowingness, my gut, my intuition. And it more than paid off. In fact, I didn’t even sign the lease until the DAY I moved in. Now that’s how clear and trusting I was with him, with the universe, with the situation, with this process, with myself.

(Note: If you’re afraid of being so specific when narrowing things down that you possibly cut off other options, it’s actually even better to give yourself either/or options that are intensely specific. For instance, “I could live in a separate cottage on the property of the owner’s main house, separate entrance and a yard and all OR I could live in an apartment building as long as it has an expansive outdoor space with grass.” That way, you address this issue AND get to keep your options open yet crystal clear in your vision.)

2.     The other piece of the puzzle that is essential, and comes last-ish after the written work (but needs to be addressed beforehand) is SITTING WITH IT… in meditation, in daydreams, in manifestations, bringing it into a place in your day to day where when you’re in the search for a home (or anything really), your list is right there with you. You want to cut yourself off right away when you notice something in your research, say a home you’ve found on Trulia, that directly conflicts with your list. That’s the purpose of it. To actually use it to hold yourself accountable and stay true to the specifics and the journey of meeting your needs. You don’t give into temptation!

You don’t make that micro-adjustment. You say, “No. This place isn’t right for me. I will hold out for meeting my needs.” Just like when you have to say no to a lover, even when they bring you breakfast in bed… It doesn’t matter. If he can’t seem to understand you like to keep your home tidy, he’s just not gonna make the cut.

If you give in, whether in relationships, living situations, or what have you, you are just going to end up giving in and giving in, not noticing all the little sacrifices that have landed you right back where you started… living in a shithole with a creepy boyfriend who thinks he’s Peter Pandemic.

Repeat after me.

YOU DON’T GIVE IN.

YOU FOLLOW THE LIST.

YOU MADE IT FOR A REASON.

THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT.

THIS IS WHAT YOU’RE CALLING IN.

YOU DON’T MAKE COMPROMISES WITH IT.

YOU MAKE THAT LIST.

YOU MAKE IT AS SPECIFIC AS YOU CAN.

AND YOU GO FOR IT.

(Also, you can talk to yourself however best helps you listen. When I need to metaphorically slap myself across the face, I just like to use that pronoun. We all have different voices in our heads. Translate and use what works.)

3.     THE LIST

The Non-Negotiables.

These are the things you NEED. Not want, not desire, but NEED. These are the things, could be 5 things, could be 20, that make you feel the most you, the most comfortable. The things that drop you into who you are, that remind you why life is so good. The things that make you smile uncontrollably. The things that you have always dreamt of. It could be specific locations, physical details, nature ideas, styles of living that turn you on, whatever suits you. When I decided to move to the country, I guess you could say that was the first thing on this part of the list because I found myself asking, “I’ve been feeling this forever, like I need to live in nature. What am I waiting for?”

This part of the list should also include the things you Will Absolutely Not Allow. For me it was no more roommates, no more cities. Yah. Claro. No discussion. It should be pretty immediately obvious what these things are for you way before you even get to this point. So just write them down to help with the whole manifestation process. Can’t hurt. Or don’t because they’re already so engrained in you.

Another big one on my Non-Negotiables was being able to have fires, a fire pit. “Open fire” is the key phrase. There are so many towns in MA where that’s just not allowed. I spent so much time on the phone calling local fire departments to confirm what the regulations were on said “open fires” in that town. And one by one, I found myself deleting locations off my list because that town just didn’t meet my needs. (Again, getting specific, in this case about location.) “I cannot live there because they do not allow fires. And I need to be able to have a fire,” I told myself every time I hung up. It’s that simple. My home obviously met that need, and then I moved on to the next item on the list. One by one, it met all the other non-negotiables, so I continued salivating over it.

Wouldn’t It Be Nice.

These are the things that you want. You could live without them. You could adjust if you have to. You could get creative and figure out a way to do it anyhow. (For instance, I will soon be purchasing an inflatable bathtub.) But you also could put them on the back burner because all your needs from the Non-Negotiables are met AF.

For me, there was no way I was giving up a lake with a garden and a sunset view because of no bathtub. But those are just MY priorities. MY list. There might be an alternate universe with an alternate version of me who’s fucking crazy and did pass it up. But I know in my heart that Alternate Audrey found another cottage on a lake with a hot tub… I just know it. 

Take It or Leave It.

Lowest priorities, but still a nice thought…

The List was so deeply in the forefront of my consciousness that it melted into all my meditations, my thoughts, my dreams, my being. Do that. Soak in it.

So that’s the method. I truly believe, and stand as proof, that you can create whatever you want out of your life, your home situation, what have you. It’s just a matter of focus, clarity, unwavering determination, and an abundance of love energy. Yes, I said it, love energy, the kind of awake-ness when you move through everything you do from a place of passion and connection, knowing who you are and therefore what you want.

Speaking of love energy… there is clearly another piece of the puzzle that combined with my home finding excursion to pump me up with even more love and receptivity. I became a vessel for the circulation of this energy.

I recently caught up with my college boyfriend, Anthony, one of few serious long term relationships I’ve had. We were laughing, telling old stories and new, and in that moment I was recognizing the depth created by time and love. It was another instance of noticing the sense of relativity, feeling how time flies yet we’re still here. We change and we grow because of what we created together once upon a time. And while there is such love and appreciation for that human, there is also zero regret, zero longing, zero wishing… because I can see his reflection so clearly. I see myself in him and I see the ways in which we are so different. I have pure happiness and satisfaction knowing he’s now in love with someone else. Hoping he learned from loving me and won’t repeat those mistakes, hoping she gets to receive how much power and devotion he has to give. It’s funny how life puts you right back, full circle, with the same people. But this time there’s a smirk on your face because you’ve brought so much to light and can finally see things for what they are, finally feel the love that everyone’s just trying to give.

It’s even funnier that the roundabout I’ve made with relationships is also happening with home. A year ago I was selling all my belongings, save for a small storage unit’s worth of stuff, thinking I was going to bounce around and maybe travel… And now, a year later, I’m settling into my cottage on the lake. Yet, I’m so clear on all that’s transpired, on the fact that I needed to come full circle in order to land right back here.

These old relationships just keep recycling and evolving. There’s the one with Anthony, the one with myself, even one with a high school boyfriend, Vargas, who even after all these years still gets me. No matter what these love relationships are here to teach me, they all have one thing in common. It is so freeing, nourishing and connective to be able to still have them, to move with the flow of time, to allow feelings to change, to create new boundaries, to know that even when the wind turns, this person can still be in my life in some capacity. Like with the city of Boston… I won’t ever live there again, I don’t really see myself in any city long term, but I love it. I know it’s there, and it will always have a place in my heart. I can always talk to it, visit it, remember what it meant to me versus what it means today, and cherish it for what it is, another reflection of my being. Same goes for my new home, the lake. As delicious as it feels now, I know it’s only a reflection. All of these relationships are just reflections.

At the end of the day, home is here. Home is within me.

Aho.