Where am I? 

Sitting at a table, facing the stage, eating lunch in the beautiful house of the Westchester Broadway Theatre. 

How did I get here...?

I just don't know. After such an amazing, calm summer filled with love and family and traveling, suddenly the heat was on (not to quote Saturday Night Fever or anything). The next thing I knew, I was taking everything down from the walls in my Boston apartment, and my mugs were being bubble wrapped and thrown into neatly labeled boxes. I threw out furniture, I rented a Uhaul van, and I somehow fit all my belongings into it. 

I blinked, and my apartment of three years in Boston, which felt like a lifetime, was gone. We got up one morning to find it empty, packed the last few toiletries and bits of food, and headed out the door for the last time. I kissed my wonderful boyfriend goodbye and drove my Uhaul van across the Merit Parkway to New York City. I stacked my things in a storage unit, and settled into my new temporary home with one suitcase and a few bags. Now, only nine days later, here I am... in rehearsal... in the next phase of this crazy life that is my career.

I truly believe the idea that the only constant in life is change. I can attach myself to my home, or my belongings, as is in my nature. I can hope and pray that things will "always be this way." I can make habits of working with this technique or that lifestyle, but at the end of the day, everything is impermanent. I'm always subject to change. It's difficult when my human nature leads me into patterns. I become comfortable, settled, and I feel safe within my schedule. It happens to me all the time. It definitely happened to me this summer, so of course the move last week was traumatic in a deeply fundamental way. Don't get me wrong, it was also AMAZING and I'm so happy I took the plunge and moved to the big city. But somewhere within me, I've shaken things up, thrown myself off balance, and challenged myself with so much change all at once. Each day I wake up trying to accept this idea, to look around and know that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be at any given moment. I want to move forward with the ability to balance myself even when change hits hard, as it's doing now.

This week nearly EVERYTHING has changed. Well, maybe not. As I sit here eating my lentil chips and hummus, I'm reminded of the times I ate this exact same snack on my old couch in my old apartment, and I realize maybe things aren't all that different. Maybe when all the macro changes are happening, when I leave my home and my boyfriend, I move across states, and I start a crazy new job, I can still hold on to the micro idiosyncrasies in my day, the chips and hummus. I can find comfort and stability in the little things.

It may sound cheesy, but home will be where the heart is. Home is what you make it. All those quotes resonate with me now more than ever. I can do this because I'm accepting this reality, and accepting all the changes that come with it. One day at a time...